Daddy- You will be cherished fondly

A grand-dad who was more of a father to me.. a man with the most unbeatable energy, laughter that filled the room,high spirit that could lift a sad heart, randiant aura, heart of gold blessed with helping hands, an unmatchable passion and compassion for everything and anything! You left behind a little of yourself in everyone you met…such was your influence..strong and inspiring. A loving soul fondly called Daddy by one and all.

And now you are gone..and gone with you are the secrets you promised yourself never to let out, and gone is the shield behind which I always felt everything will be ok. Left behind is a vacuum and lots of loving memories.

I remember, when i called out Daddy… you would spontaneously say ‘ready’ 🙂 Yeah, you were ready, and really ready till your last breath to listen to anything I had to say..to be proud,to suggest, to kiss my hands, to be happy or sad…you were really there! Can still feel the warmth of your hands in my hands..your hand on my head..but today you are not there. your rocking chair is empty, can’t  hear blaring volume of cricket match from your room television…its so quiet, its so empty. Its hard to believe that you will no longer be around…but I still believe, even today when I will call out Daddy..You will shout from above Ready 🙂

Cant imagine a family gathering without your dance, that favourite red Tshirt that will never be worn again, your voice that will never call out my name again, Pizza Express will never be fun without you, birthdays will never feel so blessed again without your gracious shower of good wishes…but I’m sure you are there,watching us from above.

Today you are in a better place.. I sincerly ask you for forgiveness if I have hurt you or have upset you, I free you from any hurt that you may have caused during your journey on earth.. I free you from any strings…I will miss you, but let you go..You have seen a lot,done a lot, now its time for rest…May you rest in peace daddy..you will always be cherished and celebrated in my memories and heart.

 

 

 

Once in a lifetime! Not really..

It is said that,’ Life becomes meaningful when you realise that you will never live the same moment twice’                                                                             But from what I have seen and experienced is that the same moments may not come back but incidences do! They reoccur over and over again…many happy ones, many not so happy ones, many that has filled your heart with pride or the ones that has doomed your heart in sorrow. Some of these incidences repeat themselves in forms of teachings and sometimes in form of blessings. Maybe, dealing with all these situations, high and lows of emotions, somewhere between smiles and tears what we experience is called Life.

Lessons are hard to learn…they have always been! It demands us to break free from our set mind-set and thereby cut the chain of emotion pattern and take cognitive decision. Until we accept and embrace the change, these hard lessons will keep showing up in your life, even if it takes several years or generations but it will make you stand in that same tight box.

Often we are unable to see the larger picture behind these heart wrenching situations or, we choose to be ignorant about it or, react in a certain way just out of habbit! But the lessons planted by God in our life will keep crossing our path. Its never been easy.. i have seen many people struggle through this, sometimes all their lives with its pain and regret. My heart goes out for all such people who were not able to step out of that box. May God show them light and give them strength to overcome it. 

 

 

 

I’ll meet you in there…

Source: I’ll meet you in there…

I’ll meet you in there…

Source: I’ll meet you in there…

I’ll meet you in there…

Somewhere between right and wrong, there is a garden….I’ll meet you there 🙂

I often meet you in that tranquil garden, where there is No Right nor Wrong, there are No Should’s nor Shouldn’t, no black nor white, no society rules, no conflict between heart body and soul, no hatred, no resentment.. just peace and calm. A place where all lines begin to merge, all differences begin to disappear! A place where you are free – to be

Somewhere between that gruelling decision, I take a pause, stop a while in this ambiguous garden… lay on its soft grass with YOU….. chatting endlessly under the heavenly sky, asking you ‘What should I do?’

You said nothing..but i still heard you say,                                                                                                                            to courageously move forward without dismay!

Sometimes, right and wrong is not for us to see…Whatever has been planned, so will it be!                                                                                       Ease your worries, let go of pain, Cheer up! don’t be so emotionally drained!!  

You hold my hand, i feel the comfort, The onus is on higher souls, you reassert! 

We love living in confusion with all the commotion and drama in it… We love to believe we are in control of ourselves, but its never true! All the decisions we take, are they really ours? If not, then whats all the stress about?                           If you are looking for the answers, take a moment and stop by in that magical garden between the right and the wrong.

Conflicts of Mind & Life

There comes many such times in life when we react inappropriately towards an incident. We know we should have, or could have handled it better but it does not happen at that spur of the moment! Ever thought why?

This is because, our minds are conditioned & held to dogma, to belief, to religion, to experience, to knowledge. Our mind is conditioned to live in the past! Life is always in movement, whereas our mind is static. Life runs in full speed, it needs different approaches to deal with everyday challenges and complexities. The struggle between the ever-changing life and our still mind is often a source of most problems. People who realise this, make an effort to change their thinking, thereby change their mind and break away from the set dogmas of mind. This require constant reinforcement for the mind to think in a new free way. It takes repeated effort to unlearn what the mind already has!

Mind has its tricky ways of living in the past. For e.g.,  A child strongly detests or resents a certain attribute of an authoritative figure all his childhood but grows up either over compensating that attribute or reflect it in his mannerism. This is because the sub-conscious mind of the child has observed and retained it. It does so because that’s the only way it has learnt! to deal with a situation! His mind has not been refreshed.

Mind lives in the past but life is moving forward…every day, every minute. Thus constant evolving of mind is prime important or else it will lead to conflicts in smooth living.

A Cup Of Tea With Self

Pensive about nothing (maybe) …. Thoughts fill my mind as the dark grey clouds gently float and cover the sky. Various thoughts from various genres of life cluster, they all seem to have spun together delicately like a candy floss. Each time I try to hold on and ponder over it, it would melt away leaving its faint essence on my fingertips. They say feelings are visitors, let them pass… but what is it I’m really feeling?

Maybe its the feeling of ‘Letting Go’ or lack of it that is tying me down on a chair today.. well, i have let gone of numerous people, heart-aches and burns, put them all behind me as history of my life, i felt angry and upset earlier, today i feel neutral about that phase of my life. Yes, i did let go… but how does one let go of their family or of their children’s responsibility? Don’t we all strive to achieve and wish the best for ourselves and our family? Isn’t it what Life is all about? Perfect house, doting spouse, kids who perform like tigers and not a mouse, overall a life that does not louse. We spend the most of our lives to achieve these so-called the ‘dire’ necessities of Life. Is this really what life is all about? We all do wish the best for our family, and there’s nothing wrong in wishing! We only have to learn not to condition our wishes with reality. We may channelize all our effort towards making it happen, but it may or may not succeed. Keeping that window open may help in easing the relent.

Was thinking… the recent board exam results of the 10th and 12th grades have been spectacular! Well, they have always been lately unreal! Every child seems to have achieved a 90% plus.. we all seem to raising ‘child prodigy’. Was thinking, is achieving a 70 or a 50% not really and achievement at all! We all know about the school dropouts that have made it large in life, recalling the quote made by Albert Einstein, “Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school” So true, but we still focus on reaping A* children. Children no longer behave, talk, or dress their age. Maybe its because we want ‘trophy’ kids.’ Childhood’ is a big price paid.

What has the world come to? Competing for Perfection all the time… let it be a TV show or a movie, everybody seems to have a perfect body! all men win a 8 pack abs and women with a perfect 10 bodies, perfect smile, perfect hair, lip job, nose job and the list goes on, whereas a fat person will play a comedians part. Why are we so unhappy with ourselves? Grooming oneself is not wrong by any means it reflects self-love, but when self obsession aches for perfection it reflects lack of self-love beneath all those layers of glam. We are captured in a Barbie and Ken world.  Wondering, if kids these days be ever able to feel the joys and warmth one gets by hugging a ‘real man’ with receding hairline and beer belly, just like the way we felt with our Dad’s and still ‘he’ was the strongest man for his daughter.

Perfection is a defeat but we all work endlessly to obtain it. Perfection is a bubble but we want to live in it. Perfection leads to anxiety and insecurity but….

All these and many other thoughts were on my mind while I sipped my cup of tea in silence looking at the deep grey sky… Well, some thoughts made it to this page, while waved good-bye to other thoughts to drift away with the clouds and to shower upon and fill the heart of a friend who looks up at the sky. 🙂

Perfectly Imperfect Maa

Maa / Mom / Ana / Matri / Ammee / Eje are few expressions of ways of calling out to ‘Mother’. Ever thought carefully what emotion does that word emote within you? Love, anger, pain, respect, resentment… several emotions or combinations of them stir up. No-one is neutral about one’s mother or the bond they shared with her. Ever thought Why? She is the first person you had relation with from the time of your conception. The first person you trusted, loved and depended upon is by and large your Mother. Babies want to be held, fed and cared by their mother, this becomes the initial seedbed and foundation to all emotional development, communication and personality. No other relation has the potential to shape you like this one. The role of a mother and the impact on her children is timeless.. regardless of age, distance or death.

Epicenter of all our spoken or unspoken rules, behaviour, attitude or communication pattern, emotional swings, relationship with self or with the outer world all began with mother-child relationship. This relation influences your feeling of love, frustration, anguish, insecurity or hope. Thus when they say ‘becoming a mother is a huge responsibility’ or when they say ‘plan a baby only when you are ready’ is actually very correct! Only if they were more specific by what they mean would have helped in population control!

To understand how does a mother influence emotions onto a child, we have to first understand ‘Mother’. If You are a mother, you have a mothering style. We consciously or unconsciously follow the mothering style our mothers raised us with for our children. This is called ‘mother legacy’. Mother legacy may or may not be beneficial for the next generation as with changing times we should change and alter our parenting style.

Mothering is forever a ‘Work In progress’ regime. You got to lay the boundaries yet be liberal, make the rules yet not be so rigid, whatever we do for the children it might or might never be good enough in their eyes yet do it with all your heart. Let them know that you are not perfect and are bound to make human mistakes, feel free to apologies to your kids if you realise you are at wrong, laugh recklessly with them, cry if you have to! You are not emotionless and there’s no fun being a Supermom! Be human, love yourself more so that you can spread love to your loved ones, remember mother legacy your children are learning everyday from you to be You. Let them know the foundation of what you do for them is love. Theres no other feeling greater than that to know that you are accepted by your mother with all your natural imperfections. Mothers are not perfect either! They are also growing and learning with and from their children.

Perfection is an illusion and we all are ‘perfectly imperfect’.

Perfectly Imperfect Maa

Maa / Mom / Ana / Matri / Ammee / Eje are few expressions of ways of calling out to ‘Mother’. Ever thought carefully what emotion does that word emote within you? Love, anger, pain, respect, resentment… several emotions or combinations of them stir up. No-one is neutral about one’s mother or the bond they shared with her. Ever thought Why? She is the first person you had relation with from the time of your conception. The first person you trusted, loved and depended upon is by and large your Mother. Babies want to be held, fed and cared by their mother, this becomes the initial seedbed and foundation to all emotional development, communication and personality. No other relation has the potential to shape you like this one. The role of a mother and the impact on her children is timeless.. regardless of age, distance or death.

Epicenter of all our spoken or unspoken rules, behaviour, attitude or communication pattern, emotional swings, relationship with self or with the outer world all began with mother-child relationship. This relation influences your feeling of love, frustration, anguish, insecurity or hope. Thus when they say ‘becoming a mother is a huge responsibility’ or when they say ‘plan a baby only when you are ready’ is actually very correct! Only if they were more specific by what they mean would have helped in population control!

To understand how does a mother influence emotions onto a child, we have to first understand ‘Mother’. If You are a mother, you have a mothering style. We consciously or unconsciously follow the mothering style our mothers raised us with for our children. This is called ‘mother legacy’. Mother legacy may or may not be beneficial for the next generation as with changing times we should change and alter our parenting style.

Mothering is forever a ‘Work In progress’ regime. You got to lay the boundaries yet be liberal, make the rules yet not be so rigid, whatever we do for the children it might or might never be good enough in their eyes yet do it with all your heart. Let them know that you are not perfect and are bound to make human mistakes, feel free to apologies to your kids if you realise you are at wrong, laugh recklessly with them, cry if you have to! You are not emotionless and there’s no fun being a Supermom! Be human, love yourself more so that you can spread love to your loved ones, remember mother legacy your children are learning everyday from you to be You. Let them know the foundation of what you do for them is love. Theres no other feeling greater than that to know that you are accepted by your mother with all your natural imperfections. Mothers are not perfect either! They are also growing and learning with and from their children.

Perfection is an illusion and we all are ‘perfectly imperfect’.

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